Archive for March, 2010

Arizona Blue-Gunfighter, in- Last Card Game in Falstaff (Episode #30)

Monday, March 29th, 2010

(Arizona Blue, over 226-Internet sits have picked up on these Episodes, this being the 30th)

Arizona Blue was always proud of his skill in shooting, and not timid to display it. He always looked a bit ready, or like a man preparing for target practice. It was July, of 1876, when Blue was in Falstaff (had been there going on five weeks or so), Ernie Hard, a gun-slinger out of Abilene was in town, Arizona knew of him, a young buck, not too young, was playing cards at the Do-drop-Inn. He was a tall man, with large teeth, buck teeth, and red hair, he had itchy-fingers, so his legend goes, which precede him, eager to kill, and he always muttered, so no one could tell what he was saying, somehow that seemed to put his opponent off guard.

“Go to hell,” said Tom Doyle, a local farmer, and one of the five card players at the table, in the bar, he was speaking to Ernie Hard; Ernie had told him he had won without showing his cards.

“Put down the cards,” said Tom “I want to see them!”.

“Do what you can, or shout up…!” ordered Hard, and he started to take the money from the pot in the middle of the table, no one said a word, and Tom started to turn frigid in his face.

Tom pulled out a forty-five with a cut-off barrel, tucked deep into the side of his belt it was hidden by his jacket. Ernie, eying the farmer boy, saw his snub-nosed muzzle, which meant he had to be in front of him to shoot it with any accuracy, thus, he smiled and held his breath, then muttered a tinge, the next moment (seemingly a gap in time) the sound of loud gun against a moment of silence came abruptly, and the guy next to Tom spat tobacco onto the floor as if in shock,Tom fell backward, dead, and surprisingly, Ernie fell flat onto the table, the discharge of Tom’s gun had shot through his shoulder.

Said the barkeep running up to Tom “What in hell did you do that for?” Of course he could not speak, he was dead. At that very moment, Arizona Blue turned about, he was watching everything from the bar mirror, for once he wanted to stay out of harms way, but he was cursed, as many folks had told him in the past, wherever he went, seemingly he could not avoid trouble.

He walked over to the table, $400.00 was in the kitty, Ernie knew of Blue, his reputation anyhow, saw him shoot a few times, and he was perhaps 15-years younger than Blue. Blue looked at Ernie, plainly, then chuckled, as Ernie went to take the money, but Blue pushed them back—Ernie’s hands back, looked at his cards, he had two kings, one pair that was all, then he looked at Tom’s, three jacks…”You lose,” said Blue.

“Wait until my shoulder’s better, we’re going to have a shootout.” Said Ernie; but that was not a good thing to say, evidently he did not pay all that much attention to his reputation.

“You’d never guess, sunny boy, but the shootout is going to be now.”

“But I can’t,” said Ernie, his face transforming into grief and dread.

“Then I’ll shoot you dead right here, or get on you knees and beg for your life!” The entire bar was watching.

The bartender nodded to the table of card players to move, and they did.

Blue knew the game, if he let him live, he’d just follow him, so he put Ernie in a cowards position, and to his surprise, he got on his hands and knees and begged for his life. Then Blue turned around, got thinking: there’d never be a better chance than now, he waited a moment, hoping Ernie would go for his gun, and then Blue threw down his second pistil in front of Ernie, “Sorry, but one of us will have to die this evening!” Said Blue.

It seemed hopeless to Ernie, but he knew that was the deal, and therefore, he leaped for the gun, and clutching it grimly he shot off one round, Blue simply dodged back, then fired his gun, that was it. He knew he’d be clumsy, and let him take the first shot, that way; there’d be no question of who was in the right.

The fight was over, Blue shrugged. There was only one thing to do now, leave the city, it was futile to try to explain to the law every detail, the folks saw it all, it would all come out in the wash, he knew, thus he swung his jacket over his shoulder, finished his drink, and bid the barkeep farewell.

Out of the bar he jumped on his horse, Dan, then shouted, “Give the money to his wife!” then out of the city he rode, in kind of a zigzagged galloped, he was a bit drunk, but happily drunk.

See Dennis’ web site: dennissiluk.tripod.com dennissiluk.tripod.com

Films - Forbidden Planet

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Before Leslie Nielson became one of the funniest men in the movies with such classics as “The Naked Gun″ series, he was actually a very serious actor. Most people today would have no idea of this fact. But yes, there was a time. One of his greatest films was the classic science fiction “Forbidden Planet” which was made in 1956. It was directed by Fred Wilcox and written by Irving Block and Allen Adler.

The premise of the story was actually very simple. A spaceship, commandeered by Commander John Adams, played by Nielson, was sent to the planet Alta to investigate the strange and sudden silence from the planet and the colony that was living there. When the spaceship arrives, they discover that all but two of the colonists have died. The survivors are Dr. Morbius and his daughter Altaira. Somehow, they survived the attacks of a terrible monster. Morbius was played brilliantly by Walter PIdgeon and his daughter was played by the beautiful Anne Francis. The movie did a great job of showing her off.

Morbius explained to the crew what happened and all might have been well with his explanation but when Adams decides that they’re going to stick around for a while Morbius almost goes into a rage and practically orders them to leave the planet, telling them that he couldn’t be held responsible for what might happen to them. Well, that’s all Adams had to hear. Now he was more determined than ever to stay and find out what was “really” going on.

Needless to say, this prompted the “monster” to come out and attack one of the crew members in the ship itself. Morbius, upon hearing of this, told Adams that he was warned to leave. But Adams took it as more of a threat and was convinced that Morbius knew more than he was letting on.

Finally, Morbius gives Adams and Doctor Ostrow, played by Warren Stevens, a tour of the facility. This is when he tells the story of the Krell, the civilization that lived here millions of years before, a civilization more advanced than anything they had ever seen. When asked what happened to the Krell, Morbius gave a vague answer. But during the tour he showed Adams and Ostrow a mind booster machine. This would ultimately lead to Adams discovering the terrible secret.

If you haven′t seen the movie, we won′t ruin the ending for you. It was one of the most intense finishes in movie history and a film that even today stands up to anything that modern day film makers put together.

It should be noted that in this movie we see for the first time Robbie The Robot. While Robbie wasn’t anything more than a man in a suit, he was very realistic as robots go and turned out to be one of the most famous robots in all of movie history.

This movie has everything that anyone could want in a science fiction. Robots, pretty girls and a great story with a real surprise ending.

Don’t miss this one the next time they show it on the Sci-Fi channel.

Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to films-guide.com/ Films.

Evan Almighty Review

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

In this sequel to the Bruce Almight movie, Steve Carell reprises his role as Evan Baxter.

With really little build up, Evan Almighty jumps right into the mix of things. Right off the bat we find out that the news anchor Evan Baxter has continued his career into one of political aspirations. Right after he got elected to the US Congress under a slogan painting him the politician that’s out to change the world, God (played by Morgan Freeman) comissions Evan Baxter to build an ark right in the midst of one of the worst droughts in the history of the region.

In a somehow predictable move the area townspeople antagonize Evan Baxter as he starts constructing the ark. Evan Baxter’s reputation is further soiled because his political career is being looked more as a joke when he starts to wear sack cloth on a regular basis, and all kinds of animals are following him everywhere in pairs. Evan Baxter’s boss is Congressman Long, who once supported him, Congressman Long becomes the antagonist as everybody turn against Evan Baxter.

Evan Baxter is predictable on every turn, and has somehow enough humour to satisfy. The animals to their part to provide a really fair share of fecal humour. Morgan Freeman offers us a lot of wisdom in the role of God. Steve Carell does a surprisingly good job delivering very humorous dialogue, which in his own style is guaranteed to be adlibbed in great part. The sheer amounts of animals in this movie are overwhelming. Overall the storyline and humour fell really really cliche. Evan Baxter was a mild succes, but just does not offer anything special except few good laughs.

If you are a parent with children, than you will get your money worth out of this. For everyone else, though, it is probably a worthwhile rental.

For more Movie and Music reviews, Fashion & Relationships advices, Lifestyle articles and info on Meditation & Spirituality, be sure to visit go4style.net Go4Style.net now!

Thank You To Our Soldiers And A Tribute To Old Glory And A Prayer For Peace

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Thank you

Dedicated to soldiers and their loved ones

For those who have laid in fox holes,carried guns,marched for hours.

For those who have had cold sleepless nights,endless days of discomfort.

For those who have endured the agony of war for my sake.

Thank you.

For those who have gently kissed a loved one goodbye,

and with a tear looked back for a last time,

For those who have found courageto carry the sword of liberty.

For those who have flown with the eagle.

For those who have landed on foreign soil.

Taking freedom to other countries while keeping freedom in ours,

Thank you.

For those who have lost limbs,lives and loved ones.

For those who have lost friends,sisters ,brothers,mothers and fathers,

For those who have sacrificed and gave their all for freedom’s sake.

Thank you.

For those who have found the courage to stand,

For those who have reached out a hand for their fallen comrade.

For those who give freedom to strangers ,and a hope for peace.

For those who sacrifice all they love, and pay the price for freedom.

Thank you.”

Old Glory

Do you know where this flag has been?
Faded and falling and rising again,
Always there is someone that will mend,
This flag to rise it again.
She waves across the sky with the wind,
Her courage to fly will never end,
She fights for freedom , please help her win,
Do you know where old faded glory has been?
She has rose through predjudice and hate,
She has fought for others for freedom’s sake,
She’s the symbol of our country’s fate,
She offers the world the hand of a friend,
She covers the heart of her fighting women and men,
When she falls in the dust,
In God we trust,
We make her rise again.
Do you know where this flag has been?
She’s called old glory,
The heart of America’s story,
Flying across the sky in the wind.
Do you know where this flag has been?
This flag will rise again.

Prayer for peace

Foreign winds blow across the sea,
Whispering bring peace to me,
The ocean brings sweet emotion,
that asks the storms to calm.
As the wind softly lifts the leaves of the palm.

The earth begs for wars to cease,
The wind whispers please live in peace,
The quest that God sends in the gentle breeze.

In the distant they play the war drum,
From the sky falls yet another bomb,
From the distance fires from another gun.
As we all search for where peace comes from.
With sweet regret for what war has done.

Rain falls and the earth bleeds
Washed away in the blood are life’s seeds,
Mother earth begs and pleads,
For war to cease.
I join her on bended knees.
In a prayer for peace.

Foreign winds blow across the sea,
Whispering bring peace to me,
The ocean brings sweet emotion,
that asks the storms to calm.
As the wind softly lifts the leaves of the palm.

Bio Of Judy Arline Puckett

I am currently residing in Monroe, La.

I begin writing at the age of 11,and I’m 54 now. I am the mother of three, grandmother of five.

I love creative writing, poetry, digital art, art, Photography, and Jazz and blues music.

I write poetry and lyrics on every topic. War peace, love heartache, religion, Abortion which I oppose.

I hope to write meaningful and worthwhile words that will touch hearts and make a difference in life.

A poet is the voice for those who are without words.

Judy Arline Puckett

What Are Underwater Cameras?

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Over seventy-five percent of the earth is covered with water, with amazing and beautiful life forms beneath the oceans. Underwater cameras are used to capture or explore this amazing life that exists below every ripple and wave. Deep- sea divers use the cameras, to take pictures of the incredible flora and fauna and marine life. Underwater cameras are designed for still and video photography. They can also be taken to a pool or lake, to take a few pictures of the local wildlife in and around the water.

People often get confused while purchasing underwater cameras and generally opt for the conventional ones. An underwater camera is specially designed to be completely submerged underwater and withstand the surrounding pressure. It is protected within a waterproof casing. The underwater cameras are also used to take quality pictures on dry land, in harsh conditions like severe rains and snowfall. They are used to swim along with marine animals and feel weightless, while enjoying the photography.

The camera controls are sensitive to operate. It starts with the upper toggle switch, on the rear of the camera and switching between wide angle and telephoto views. The image that is focused on is displayed on a small screen on the rear of the camera. A little pressure applied on the focus button, makes the camera focus and also calculate exposure. A click causes the camera to take a picture.

There are digital underwater cameras are available in all shapes, sizes and film format. Many digital cameras have a viewfinder. It helps to see and adjust the pictures for the photography. There are other underwater cameras that use film that needs to be developed. They work just as well as a digital camera. There are underwater cameras that are ideal for a depth four hundred feet.

e-underwatercamera.com Underwater Camera provides detailed information on Underwater Camera, Underwater Digital Camera, Underwater Camera Housing, Underwater Video Camera and more. Underwater Camera is affiliated with e-disposablecameras.com Disposable Wedding Cameras.

Who am I?

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

THE ESSENTIAL

Here I stand alone in my days of youth,
And tell myself a sacred truth.
Verses of vigilance, songs of wisdom,
Accompany me to the far-off stardom.
There’s a lot to think, there’s a lot to do.
I’m yet to see the green and blue.

Then someone cries I’m going down,
How then will I get the glitzy crown?
But the winds through my hair whisper their say,
And chant about that big fat day.

Fears strikes, angst engulfs me,
But my spirit, empowered, tells me what to be.
I splash the water on my face,
And bear the part of human race.
Everything from war and peace.
All the tastes of faith and fleece.

Still, I feel, my lass and her dance.
I believe the depth of my own romance.
Dust and fire, mist and storm,
Inside of me are all day long.

I
A queer feeling arises when I’m at this.
I constantly feel there is something somewhere I miss.
I ponder hard and get no fact.
I wonder what’s the zenith of my act.
Then I think ‘who am I’?
I’m here but I don′t know why.

I? I wonder what’s there about me.
I just don’t know what am I supposed to be.
Is the soul pure/impure?
My goal, about it I’m never so sure.
Then I think ‘who am I’?
I’m here but I don’t know why.

Are my deeds good or bad.
In my hereafter will I be happy or sad?
Will my possessions be milled over high or low?
My headway can either be swift or slow.
Then I think ‘who am I’?
I’m here but I don’t know why.

Lastly, I can either step in heaven or hell.
But I cannot describe my words and ways so well.
Myself I don’t know what to call.
I know one day I’ll cross the Styx, but that couldn’t be all.
Then I think ‘who am I’?
I’m here but I don’t know why.

My soul and torso shall be detached.
Then of course I should feel unscratched.
This is the scene beyond my insight.
I really don’y know anything about my future plight.
Then I think ‘who am I’?
I’m here but I don’t know why.

Yes, I don’t know why I’m here.
I’m in search of something pure and clear.
It’s my essence which I want unfolded.
I want to break the bonds within which I’m enfolded.
Then I think ‘who am I’?
I’m here but I don’t know why.

My work has been published in VoicesNet Anthology, Powell, Ohio. I write about different topics. Other than poetry, I also write prose.

The Quest for Self-Determination: Reminiscences of Two Minority Women, Part Two

Saturday, March 27th, 2010

By far the most severe oppression that the women faced comes from the dominant culture. This oppression is shown in numerous ways, such as degradation, exploitation, and murder. As a result, the women have an understandable fear and hatred of white people. Maya describes an errand into the white section of town like this: “We were explorers walking without weapons into man-eating animals’ territory” (Angelou 25). Likewise, because of Mary’s beatings by Catholic nuns at the Indian Boarding School, she “hated and mistrusted every white person on sight, because [she] met only one kind” (Crow Dog 34).

One example of whites’ degradation of minority peoples is the changing of their names. Native American peoples were forced to adopt Christian first names. Mary writes that her husband’s family name should have been Crow Coyote, but due to a white interpreter’s misunderstanding, they ended up with the name Crow Dog (Crow Dog 10). Maya also had her name changed by her white employer. Her given name is Marguerite, but the white woman called her Margaret. Then a friend of the white woman told her the name Margaret was too long and she would “call her Mary if I was you” (Angelou 107). Maya said that “every person she knew had a hellish horror of being ‘called out of his name’” and that “it was a dangerous practice to call a Negro anything that could be loosely construed as insulting because of the centuries of their having been called niggers, jigs, dinges, blackbirds, crows, boots, and spooks” (Angelou 109).

Another element of oppression by whites is how minority peoples are exploited for their labor and cheated out of what is owed to them. Native and African Americans were relegated to the lowest and worst paying jobs by whites. Mary claimed that all the whites living near the reservation “made their living in some way by exploiting [the Indians], by using Indians as cheap labor, by running their cattle on reservation land for a mere pittance, by using [Indians] as colorful props to attract the Eastern tourists” (Crow Dog 81). Mary discovered that her people were being cheated by the reservation trading post when she was in New York. According to Mary, “everything was so much cheaper than on the reservation where the trading posts have no competition and charge what they please” (Crow Dog 112).

African Americans suffer from this exploitation also. Since they were segregated, African Americans were only allowed to attend certain schools and colleges. These colleges trained “Negro youth to be carpenters, farmers, handymen, masons, maids, cooks, and baby nurses” (Angelou 170). They were not given the opportunity to become “Galileos and Madame Curies and Edisons and Gaugins” (Angelou 179). As with the Indians, whites cheated the black cotton pickers out of their earned wages. Maya reported that “no matter how much they had picked, it wasn′t enough″ to pay the “staggering bill that waited on them at the white commissary downtown″ (Angelou 8).

The most severe oppression suffered by minorities is the physical violence and unjustified murder committed by white people. Maya describes a gruesome scene in which she and her brother learn about the murder of a black man:

And once, we found out about a man who had been killed by whitefolks and thrown into the pond. Bailey said the man’s things had been cut off and put in his pocket and he had been shot in the head, all because the whitefolks said he did ‘it′ to a white woman (Angelou 37).

Mary also recounts numerous times Indians were murdered by white men. The following account is particularly inhuman:

Not long before that a Sioux, Raymond Yellow Thunder, a humble, hard-working man, had been stripped naked and forced at gunpoint to dance in an American Legion Hall at Gordon, Nebraska. Later he was beaten to death — just for the fun of it (Crow Dog 83).

The previous passages narrate only a few of the many indignities and humiliations these women (and other people in their ethnic group) saw and suffered due to the oppression by the white dominant culture. To survive in the harsh world they are forced into, African Americans and Native Americans developed numerous strategies to keep on living. For example, both minority groups have a “dream,” they both have a communal spirit, neither believes crime against the whites is wrong, and both adhere to the concept of double consciousness.

The African American dream consists of achieving full rights and equality with the dominant culture. This dream is exemplified in Maya’s narrative when she imagines her grandmother standing up for her rights against a dentist and demanding to be treated with the respect that is due her as a human being:

Stand up when you see a lady, you contemptuous scoundrel…You knave, do you think you acted like a gentleman, speaking to me like that in front of my granddaughter?…I order you, now and herewith…Leave Stamps by sundown (Angelou 190).

This passage reflects the African American dream of equality with whites; since whites have long exerted power over blacks, the roles are reversed and the blacks have the power now. The passage also shows that African Americans have the right to be spoken with politeness and respect and not as if they were dogs.

In contrast, the Native American dream does not seek equality with whites. Rather the Native Americans want their homeland back the way it was: no white people and plenty of buffalo.

And so they began to dance and sing, to bring back the buffalo, to bring back the old world of the Indians which the wasièun [white man] had destoyed, the world they had loved so much and for whose return they were praying (Crow Dog 149).

Native Americans and African Americans developed these dreams to give themselves hope that, eventually, their condition will be better.

In a time when the whites were trying to obliterate Native and African Americans, they developed a sense of us against them. These minority groups do everything in their power to help their people survive. In regards to visitors, Mary’s grandmother told her, “Even if there’s not much [food] left, they gonna eat. And whatever is left after they leave, even if it’s only a small dried-up piece of fry bread, that’s what we eat” (Crow Dog 19).

Maya describes the communal spirit among blacks in the following way: “Whatever was given by Black people to other Blacks was most probably needed as desperately by the donor as by the receiver” (Angelou 49). Both these passages illustrate how the groups do without something they need in order to help others survive.

In order to combat economic oppression by the dominant culture, many minorities turn to crime as a means of survival. These crimes against the whites are not viewed as wrong by Maya or Mary. When Maya meets two African American con men who perpetuate scams upon white businessmen, she said “it wasn’t possible for me to regard them as criminals or be anything but proud of their achievements” (Angelou 224). Similarly, Mary describes shoplifting as “just getting a little of our own back, like counting coup in the old days by raiding the enemy’s camp for horses” (Crow Dog 61).

The concept of double consciousness is very important among African Americans and Native Americans. This concept was probably developed to achieve self–esteem in minorities. In other words, minorities identify with someone of their race who is successful in order to feel better about themselves and experience success vicariously.

This concept of double consciousness is seen when Maya describes a boxing match between the heavyweight champion Joe Louis and the contender Carnera. She writes that the fight “might be the end of the world″ and that “if Joe lost [African Americans] were back in slavery and beyond help” (Angelou 135). After Louis wins the fight, she says “Joe Louis had proved to the world that we were the strongest people in the world″ (Angelou 136). This illustrates the idea of people living vicariously through other members of their race.

Another facet of double consciousness is seen in Mary’s narrative. In this instance Mary feels she represents all the Lakota women and therefore cannot fail in her endeavors. During an extremely hot sweat ceremony, in which more rocks were used than Mary was used to, she “felt she could not cry out to have the flap opened” because she “represented the Sioux women on this occasion” (Crow Dog 205). Double consciousness works both ways: other people in your race represent you, and you represent your race. Consequently, Mary’s “story is not just hers, but the story of a whole generation and era” (Mahtowin 28).

Maya’s narrative is also regarded as being representative of her people. One critic of I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings wrote:

The process of her autobiography is not a singular statement of individual egotism but an exultant explorative revelation that she is because her life is an inextricable part of the misunderstood reality of who Black people and Black women truly are (O’Neale 26).

Both of these women’s autobiographies explore the realities of Native Americans′ and African Americans′ lives, and seek to dispel the myths surrounding them that have been spread by the dominant culture.

Maya Angelou and Mary Crow Dog gained their self-determination in different ways. Maya fought to be accepted by white society and Mary fought to be left alone by white society. Mary, speaking of the Indian civil rights movement and the African American civil rights movement, made this distinction: “They want in. We Indians want out! That is the main difference″ (Crow Dog 77).

Maya integrated herself into white society step by step, peacefully. Later in her life she participated in peaceful demonstrations, but she began this process when she was fifteen in San Francisco. She wanted to get a job on the streetcars, even though “they don’t accept colored people on the streetcars” (Angelou 265). Maya was determined, though, and she haunted the railway officials until the “blissful day when [she] was hired as the first Negro on the San Francisco streetcars” (Angelou 269).

In contrast, Mary’s struggle was forceful. At a very young age, she responded to insults and discrimination by fighting back. For example, at the Indian Boarding School one of the nuns singled out Mary as a bad example for being “too free with her body” for holding hands with a boy (Crow Dog 38). Mary attacked back with the following passage:

You people are a lot worse than us Indians…Maybe twelve, thirteen years ago you had a water stoppage here in St. Francis…When the water backed up they had to go through all the water lines and clean them out…And in those huge pipes they found the bodies of newborn babies…And they were white babies…They weren′t Indian babies…At least when our girls have babies, they don′t do away with them that way (Crow Dog 39).

Later in life, Mary also becomes involved with the Indian civil rights movement and participates in many demonstrations. Some of the demonstrations are violent confrontations, such as Wounded Knee. Mary finds her identity through her involvement with the American Indian Movement and when she marries a Lakota medicine man, who teaches her the traditional ways of the Lakotas.

To conclude, both of these minority women struggle against oppressive restrictions throughout their formative years. But the dominant culture fails to break them and make them submit to their will. Instead Maya and Mary break down the barriers blocking their chosen path and achieve the power to lead their lives as they see fit.

Bibliography

Angelou, Maya. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings. New York: Bantam, 1993.

Crow Dog, Mary. Lakota Woman. New York: HarperPerennial, 1991.

Draper, James P., ed., et al. Contemporary Literary Criticism, Vol. 77. Detroit: Gale Research Inc., 1993.

Mahtowin, “Mary Crow Dog: Real Life Hero.” New Directions for Women, Vol. 21, No.2, March-April, 1992, p. 28.

Narins, Brigham, and Deborah A. Stanley, eds., et al. Contemporary Literary Criticism, Vol. 93. Detroit: Gale Research Inc., 1996.

O’Neale, Sondra. “Reconstruction of the Composite Self: New Images of Black Women in Maya Angelou’s Continuing Autobiography.” Black Women Writers (1950-1980): A Critical Evaluation, edited by Mari Evans, Anchor Press/Doubleday, 1984, pp. 25-37.

Mary Arnold is an author on Writing.Com/ Writing.Com/ which is a site for Writing.Com/ Creative Writing.

Her writing portfolio may be viewed at Writing.com/authors/ja77521 Writing.com/authors/ja77521

John Kerry’s Response to Quinnipiac Poll

Saturday, March 27th, 2010

NOVEMBER 28th, 2006: WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democratic Sen. John Kerry, considering a second bid for the U.S. presidency, finished dead last in a poll released on Monday on the Likeability of 20 top American political figures.

Tuesday morning, November 28th. 9:15 a.m. Russell Senate Office Building. Transcript of a meeting between Senator John Kerry and his chief of staff, Dave.

Kerry: Any chance they mixed me up with Bob?

Dave: No, sir. We checked with the people at Quinnipiac.

Kerry: Well at least I came out ahead of Pelosi. Everybody knows
that woman eats her young.

Dave: Pelosi came in 12th. Again, you were dead last in the Quinnipiac likeability poll of top politicians and potential presidential candidates and we’d be better off figuring out what we’re going to do about repairing your image than rehashing everyone else on the list who came in ahead of you.

Kerry: You’re right, you’re right. It’s only a ridiculous public opinion poll anyway. The most important thing – wait. What about Hillary? You’re not going to tell me…

Dave: Ninth.

Kerry: Son of a! Let me see that list again.

Dave: I’m not showing it to you. Can we please move on? I’ve got several image makeover ideas that I’d like to run by you before we present them to the full staff.

Kerry: Is likeability even a word? I’ve been watching “Wheel of Fortune” for years and I never saw likeability once. Where’s the dictionary?

Dave: First scenario. We get your wife Teresa to appear on that “Wife Swap” show on ABC.

Kerry: Your joking. She’s a madwoman.

Dave: Exactly. Once America has an opportunity to sees your wife running a household, every man, woman, child - hell –every pet in this country would think you were a saint.

Kerry: Or an idiot for putting up with her for all these years.

Dave: Let’s try and remain positive. After her appearance on network television and the insinuation of what your home life must be like, you might even land another Purple Heart.

Kerry: I don’t know. I still think we’re over reacting to this whole poll thing. I mean really, let’s keep things in perspective. Bush didn’t even make the list!

Dave: Fifteenth. He came in at number fifteen.

Kerry: We’re talking 41, right?

Dave: Forty-three.

Kerrey:(audible sigh) What else do you have?

Dave: Second scenario. We call Dr. Roux

Kerry: Who’s he?

Dave: The doctor that invented that gastric bypass surgery to help obese people stop eating.

Kerry: I’m not seeing the connection here.

Dave: We get him to sew your mouth shut for the next year or so until we have enough time to script and rehearse every single word you utter in public beginning the moment after the stitches are removed until the day after the election in ‘08.

Kerry: I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

Dave: If you think you can keep that up for a year – you wouldn’t need the surgery.

Kerry: I’ve got to be in the Senate in ten minutes. Anything else?

Dave: Final scenario. I’ve already spoken to their agents who think this is a great idea by the way, and I can book you with Mel Gibson and Michael Richards on their “mea culpa” university tour that kicks off next Saturday at UCLA. Rush Limbaugh’s opening for them on the east coast dates to purge the Michael J. Fox snafu from his demographic and they’ve got Russell Crowe and Naomi Campbell doing what I hear is a very poignant song and dance anger management thing for the west coast dates. Twyla Tharp did the choreography and she’s fantastic. That Billy Joel show ran forever.

Kerry: Not a chance. First of all, my Iraq joke was nothing compared to what Gibson and Richards said. I didn’t mean to insult anybody, it just came out wrong! I blew the punchline for God sake! Is that the reason America hates me, because I’m a lousy joke teller? Why aren’t they going after Conan O’Brien?

Dave: Variety is already calling “mea culpa” this year’s Lalapalooza for the foot in mouth set.

Kerry: Gingrich?

Dave: Seventeenth.

Kerry: Find out if Dr. Roux takes Blue Cross.

John Hartnett is the owner of Early Bird Publishing, a manufacturer of all occasion humorous greeting cards. He can be reached at mailto:johnhartnett@earlybirdpublishing.com johnhartnett@earlybirdpublishing.com.

Release the Emotions that Hold You Back

Saturday, March 27th, 2010

Release the emotions that hold you back
From being the person you should be.
Let the healing wave bring to you what you lack
And help you more clearly to see.

The path may be hard and steep,
But you know it is the right way.
At times you may even weep,
But on the right path you must stay.

As you surrender the pain
You make the best gain.
Towards the goal you must work –
From this path you dare not shirk.

As you feel the release
So you gain a new peace
And the vision becomes clear
As you let go of the fear.

For that fear is an infliction
Which causes you restriction.
It keeps you away
From your true pathway.

Disappointment you have known
But to you has been shown
That you must not stand still,
You must climb up that hill.

You need to be healed
From the thick walls that you build.
Such walls make you repressed,
And you may become depressed.

You can change, do not fret,
From this path of regret.
The way that lies ahead
Is the path on which you are led.

So give up the ways of the past
For true riches that will last.
With positive thoughts firm and strong
You can life that way life-long.

The Greats of Classic Television - Introduce Them to Your Family Tonight

Saturday, March 27th, 2010

“They don’t make ‘em like they used to.” You hear this said about everything - cars, houses, toys, clothes… Well, they don’t make TV shows like they used to, either. If you grew up watching classic TV, you probably have some very fond memories of sitting in front of the television with your family watching some of the classics at night. There are very few modern television shows that the whole family can sit down and watch together. Either they are geared towards kids and the grown ups aren’t interested or they are geared for adults and are inappropriate for the kids.

There is good news for families who would like to share some time in front of the television together, though. Many of the classic TV shows are being released on DVD, usually a season at a time. Families can now enjoy TV classics from the 50’s, 60’s 70’s, and 80’s on DVD’s that include lots of extras like interviews with the cast members and outtakes.

One of the biggest perks of watching the shows on DVD - no annoying commercials. Today, we’re used to watching television on our terms. We fast forward through commercials on shows we’ve recorded on DVR′s. When these classic shows first aired, there was no fast forwarding. Viewers had to sit through the commercials or flip the channel (sometimes manually!) often only to find more commercials.

Think about it. You can now introduce your kids to TV classics such as Happy Days, season by season and show them the first time a television show literally “jumped the shark.” Retro is cool right now, and it doesn’t get much more retro than Happy Days. It was retro from the day it debuted.

What’s available on classic TV DVD? Just about anything you’re interested in.

Variety Shows. Remember a few years back when Nick and Jessica attempted a Christmas special variety show? If your kids were interested in that, then they would probably be interested in The Sonny and Cher Show or The Donny and Marie Show. Sure these 70’s shows were high on the cheese factor, but the performers had some real talent.

Another great variety show from the 70’s that the family will love is The Carol Burnett Show. You’d be amazed at how much today’s kids appreciate good, clean, funny comedy when they are actually exposed to it.

Some of the best episodes of variety shows were the Christmas specials. Sonny and Cher and Donny and Marie had their share of Christmas specials, but the master of the Christmas special was Bob Hope. Many of his classic Christmas variety shows are available on DVD.

Classic Sitcoms. I Love Lucy. The Honeymooners. The Dick Van Dyke Show. Leave it to Beaver. The Brady Bunch. The Beverly Hill Billies. The Cosby Show. Family Ties. The Jeffersons. Happy Days. Mash. The Monkees. Did you sit around watching these shows (or reruns of these shows) with your family when you were a kid? Chances are you did. All of these classic television sitcoms are available on DVD. Wouldn’t it be great to sit back with your kids and a great big bowl of popcorn and watch The Cosby Show’s Claire Huxtable tell her husband Cliff to please go upstairs and kill the children? Now that’s classic tv.

Classic Drama/Adventure. Most dramas fall into the one hour crime show genre nowadays. They aren’t always pleasant to watch and they certainly aren’t appropriate for the kids. Adventure type shows like 24 or Prison Break aren’t for the kids either. But McGyver. Now there’s a show the whole family can watch together and learn a thing or two about how to make a bomb from a piece of chewing gum, a paperclip and a pencil.

Little House on the Prairie. Gunsmoke. Bonanza. The Waltons. Wonder Woman. Murder She Wrote. Columbo. Emergency. The A Team. Mission Impossible. The Lone Ranger. The list of classic drama/adventure tv shows on DVD goes on and on.

Talk Shows. It seems like anyone can get his or her own talk show these days, but they don’t last long. The king of all talk show hosts is Johnny Carson and classic excerpts from his late night talk show The Tonight Show are DVD. Show the kids some real talent and real class by introducing them to Johnny.

Instead of renting a movie this weekend for the family enjoy, why not try renting a season of a classic TV show to introduce the kids to?

Ben Anton invites you to visit our site and read more about classictelevisionblog.com/tv/johnny_carson/index.html classic Johnny Carson and other classictelevisionblog.com classic television shows on DVD.