VampireS SUMO

THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO (1985), the Woody Allen film with an impossible name, is the sweet and wildly imaginative Depression-era story of Cecilia, a clumsy waiter with head in the clouds in a very-depressed New Jersey, whose only solace in life are the movies she watches in total fascination at her local movie theater.

Cecilia (played by a perfectly-cast Mia Farrow) is treated like dirt by her unemployed, gambling and womanizing husband Monk (played with authority by Danny Aiello).

One day as she is watching “The Purple Rose of Cairo” at the movie theater, the handsome lead archeologist Tom Baxter (Jeff Daniels) character just walks out of the screen and declares his love to Cecilia in real life!

Pandemonium follows both on the screen (because the rest of the actors now do not know how to proceed after this unexpected violation of the scripted plot line) and the theater itself because the patrons are outraged that the story cannot be brought to a closure and they have to wait for the return of Tom Baxter for relief.

Reports reach Hollywood that in other cities Tom Baxter character is also stepping out of the screen and disappearing from sight. Who knows what he might be doing?!

The studios might end up getting sued big time. That’s why the producers fly in Gil Shepard, the actor who breathed life into the TB character, to find TB and convince him to return to the movie so that they can turn off the movie projector safely, without any legal repercussions! (How can anyone not respect such daring imagination!)

Gil Shepard (again played by Jeff Daniels) also falls in love with Cecilia and promises to take her to Hollywood if she returns his love.

Cecilia is torn between two attractive lovers who are both promising to take her to a world much better than what her good-for-nothing parasitic husband can provide.

One very touching scene that brought tears to my eyes shows Tom Baxter, the fictitious character who has no idea about the realities of the world, is taken to a brothel by a hooker he meets at a deserted amusement park.

The call girls are captivated by this handsome but awkward guy wearing a pitted helmet and safari outfit in the middle of New Jersey. They try to steer him to bed but he refuses all advances by declaring that it is impossible for him to bed with another woman since his heart totally belongs to Cecilia.

In the face of such impossibly pure and untainted love, one of the hookers asks him if there are “more guys like you out there” because she’d certainly love to get one for herself.

That’s a scene which drives home the message that sometimes fictitious characters and figments of our imagination live a life more noble and meaningful that we “real people” can ever hope to lead.

At the end Cecilia believes in Gil Shepard’s promises. Tom Baxter steps back into the movie, heart broken.

And just as we thought the matter is settled and Cecilia will sail towards a happy end, she realizes that there is a different future waiting for her. And there’ll always be new films to pave the way to that bittersweet future.

That very last and long-shot of Mia Farrow’s angelic face transfixed by the magic of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers is another reason why you must definitely watch this movie.

A beautiful fairy tale for adults, full of smart humor and many scenes that force us meditate on the relative merits of reality versus illusion in our daily lives.

Scores a full 9 out of 10, easily.

——————————————–

Ugur Akinci, Ph.D. is a Creative Copywriter, Editor, an experienced and award-winning Technical Communicator specializing in fundraising packages, direct sales copy, web content, press releases and hi-tech documentation.

He has worked as a Technical Writer for Fortune 100 companies for the last 7 years.

You can reach him at mailto:writer111@gmail.com writer111@gmail.com for a FREE consultation on all your copywriting needs.

Please visit his official web site writer111.com writer111.com for customer testimonials and more information on his multidisciplinary background and career.

The last book he has edited: lulu.com/content/263630 lulu.com/content/263630

One of the easiest ways nowadays to get access to a foreign language is by watching DVDs. Many DVDs have multiple languages and can facilitate a learner in many languages. But is it really a good idea?

Yes and no. One of the positives of course is that you can get to hear the language spoken very naturally. You can hear inflexions, accents and the sounds. This is fine where the version of the language is clear and a standard example, but often films use different dialects or very colloquial language.

Here we begin to see the problems of the DVD and how difficult it can be. But it is still listening practice. Unless you are lucky enough to have regular contact with native speakers this is really as good as it gets.

Another difficulty of course is the length of a DVD. For elementary or less-advanced learners it can be very tiring trying to listen to a language they are learning. We miss a lot of words and often we find ourselves just switching to the subtitles and following those.

But even subtitles are not such a bad thing. We still benefit from listening to the sounds even when we are reading the subtitles. Think of how people who are not native speaker speak your native tongue. It usually reflects their own language and ways of saying things. By exposing our ears to the rhythm and sounds of the new language we can still get some benefit.

So what can we do to get the best benefit from it? Start with much shorter pieces. All DVDs now come with the option to choose scenes rather than play the whole film. Choose a couple of scenes at a time, even if it takes you a day or two to watch. By watching and listening to smaller chunks you stand a greater chance of understanding more, which is always a boost for your confidence.

You could also watch the DVD right through first with subtitles and then try watching sections of it again. At this point you are already familiar with the story so you can concentrate a little more on what people are saying.

Language learning takes a lot of time and we can’t always understand everything but DVDs do offer us exposure to the language being spoken naturally. Rather than get frustrated at our inability to understand we need to think of it as an opportunity to learn just a little bit more.

Ken O’Brien has over 12 years experience in language teaching and education. He runs educatedlinks.com educatedlinks.com, a website of educational links, articles and other resources. He also speaks a number of foreign languages.

In football betting, picking winners is easy, finding a value winner however is not.

If you want a football betting system that wins over 50% of the time then just bet on all the big favourites at the range of 1.1 – 1.5, but if you do you will definitely not make a profit.

Football bets with good value are bets which will give you a positive payoff over time.

To check if there’s value in your football bets, simply multiply the % winning chance of your chosen side with the best decimal price of the bet. A result of more than 1.0 means that it is a value bet! (The greater the number, the greater the edge you will have over the bookmakers.)

Value betting example:
If you think that Manchester United playing at home has a 45% chance of winning against Chelsea, with the price of AH -0.5 set at 2.30.
Football value betting formula: 45% x 2.30
Result: 1.035
At 1.035, Manchester United just has the right value to be supported at 2.30, however the edge over the bookmakers isn’t that great.

The result from using the value-betting formula is very useful in deciding the amount to stake on, which I will further cover in the “Kelly Criteria” betting section soon.

propunter.blogspot.com/ propunter.blogspot.com/
European Football : Videos, Match Previews, Match Analysis and Predictions.

Did you know that there is a huge fear amongst innovative type humans and that is that they fear that they will die before they complete their life’s work or make difference in the world? This is quite common amongst super star innovators, creative types and even geniuses. They know they cannot get everything done in time and there biggest fear is not being able to complete their work or make difference.

In fact, I was reading a book by Bill Moyer and it has something like 100 interviews of famous people and it is amazing how many people said the same thing? Interesting, for many of them this was their motivation, in fact Isaac Asimov said in the interview with Bill Moyer the same thing and he figured that when he died people would still read what he wrote. Sure enough his books are still being reprinted today. So, I understand his thinking here.

Recently, a very famous historian died and he said his regret was that he wished he did not spend so much time in wasteful committees and wished he concentrated on writing more books during his lifetime. Indeed, I think this is why I am in favor of MyLifeBytes Project of Gordon Bells. Because in essence it captures a whole life, every book read, website visited, email, phone call, image seen, experience, TV program, movie, etc.

As that technology advances along with Paul Allen’s mapping of a human mind think what can be done in the future and with Moore’s law still going, ie. Quantum Computing, sending and storing images on photons, it is all within our reach. So, you might be able to “Fax” someone essence to another place and then re-implant all the memories too? Intensive stuff Future stuff.

After all no one wishes to be on their Death Bed figuring that they did not do their part. So for those who think this way, I salute you and believe it is a Smart choice, but yet I ask why die? Soon that will not be an issue either and someone who is a super star can continue their work at the same pace and achieve more.

Of course I would like to mention Leonardo da Vinci’s one regret, that he would not finish all his projects before he died, he didn’t, imagine if he had? Can you even wonder all the great things we might have discovered 100s of years ahead of time? I certainly hope this article is of interest and that is has propelled thought. The goal is simple; to help you in your quest to be the best in 2007. I thank you for reading my many articles on diverse subjects, which interest you.

“Lance Winslow” - If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; WorldThinkTank.net/ WorldThinkTank.net/. Lance is a guest writer for ourspokanemagazine.com/ Our Spokane Magazine in Spokane, Washington

Well, this past week was definitely a “journey through the past” for many of us who watched the PBS specials featuring highlights from the 60’s. Kicking off with “No Direction Home”, a documentary about Bob Dylan, helped set the scene for what was to come. Rare glimpses into the life and times of this private and self-effacing man were a special treat for me. Joan Biaz made the comment that “it goes down real deep″ for those of us who are fans of Dylan. This is very true and sometimes hard to explain to others who don’t share the sentiment. But, one thing is certain, as musicians and songwriters, we can all learn something from him. What stands out most prominently about Bob Dylan in my mind, is the fact that he is always true to himself and doesn’t let anyone put him in a box. When others wanted him to carry their torch or lead their cause, he stayed on course and followed his own path. He knew who he was and as a result many more people benefited from hearing his music and message. Bob Dylan carried his own torch and it proved to be brighter and stronger than all the others who came before him.

Wednesday night presented “The Best of the Beatles″ which was
actually a play on words - “Best” referring to Pete
Best, the former drummer of the Beatles. It was interesting to hear this familiar story told again through the eyes of Pete Best himself. A gracious man, you couldn′t help feeling his regret for having missed out on being a part of the most famous band in rock n′ roll history. But can you imagine if the group had been John, Paul, George and Pete? Naah… I don′t think so.

Revolution and anarchy finished off the week. We saw the idealism of the 60’s turn into disillusionment by the end of the decade. After years of struggling for peace, hopes were exacerbated by the assassinations of Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King. Dropping out, tuning out, increased drug use- all signs of an unhappy, unhealthy society- now marred the dream. Some good came out of this time though. Starting with George Harrison and his relief concert for Bangledesh, efforts began to be made by musicians to help
raise money for people in need. We saw the formation of “Band Aid”, another brainchild of Bob Dylan, come into existence with the help of Willie Nelson. It continues to this day to raise money through annual benefit concerts held on behalf of the many struggling farmers in our nation.

There is so much here to reflect on and think about! Music and
musicians can make a difference. Some of the important
lessons I’ve learned from famous musicians and songwriters this week are:

Be real.

Don’t compromise.

Put your heart into it.

And always keep your eyes open for opportunities to help others in need.

By keeping these things in mind, perhaps my own music (and yours too) can have a part in making the world a better place.

FREE Reprint Rights - You may publish this article in your e-zine or on your web site as
long as you include the following information: Kathy Unruh is a singer/songwriter and webmaster of ABC Learn Guitar. She has been writing songs and providing guitar lessons to students of all ages for over 20 years. For free guitar lessons, plus tips and resources on buying a guitar, songwriting, recording and creating a music career, please visit: abclearnguitar.com abclearnguitar.com

Marketing is all the activities and processes of planning, communicating and executing a product, with a price, the promotion and the placement of an item to an end user. Your music is your product which you are then supplying to the end user - the music fan. Between you and the fan is a big space on how to bridge this gap. You may think that if you just get a record deal with some label, your prayers are answered and this instant bridge is built across that space. This is for the most part, not how things work today.

As an aspiring indie or unsigned singer, songwriter, or a musician in a band you can not do just a few things to promote yourself and expect success in your music career. Offline and online music promotion and marketing exposure is an ongoing process in this DIY age. Music companies are looking for artists that already have fan bases, sold CDs, and are proven ready to move up to a higher level. Presented here are more than 100 tips and ideas for you to think about and tweak as you will, to get noticed, gain fans, and get heard. You have to find a way to stand above the crowd, for talent alone is not enough.

Promo Tip #1 A music artist must start somewhere, that’s usually locally, but it’s better to not just dive in without a plan. But begin you must. Create a plan with some ideas and set goals as to what you need to accomplish weekly, monthly, and yearly. Start small and make it progressive. Reach bench marks and keep at it.

Promo Tip #2 Image is everything. Image is the complete package - artist/band name, look, performance, merchandise, and style, to how that brand is marketed. A stage name can be a descriptive statement of the image you or your band project. Be unique and interesting to look at in some way….build your own unique stage persona.

Promo Tip #3 Word of mouth has always been the best promotion – tell people what you do. Get people talking. Create your buzz by just giving enough info to get people interested, but hold some secrets close.

Promo Tip #4 Those that promote the most win.

Promo Tip #5 You may be a truly great talent, but without getting out there and consistently marketing yourself, networking, meeting the right people, maintaining your image, and being humble, your talent will only get you so far.

Promo Tip #6 Be innovative in your promotional efforts! The Internet has made it possible to hear a LOT more music, from a LOT more artists. You are now a very small fish in a very large pond - you will need to find a way to stand out, above and glow in the dark. Think beyond the box on every promo tip.

Promo Tip #7 Learn web basics to use the Net to your advantage. The Internet thrives on links, quality content, keywords and consistency. Properly use the tools of the Internet to build your online brand.

Promo Tip #8 Create a web site. Buy your own artist name or band name URL for your web site, keep it simple, easy to remember, make sure it loads quickly and is easy to navigate.

Promo Tip #9 Submit your web link to online music directories, search engines, good music resource sites, in the best possible descriptive category. Use niche sites like tour date sites, lifestyle, regional, music magazine, music ezines, music Blogs and similarly themed sites.

Promo Tip #10 Use Myspace, Tagworld, Frappr, Facebook and any of the good social networks and extend your fan base. Update on a regular schedule.

Promo Tip #11 Go beyond the social networks and sign up to the best indie and unsigned music artist sites. Add a full profile, good photos, your best music, update the info regularly and DO NOT REDIRECT them with only a little info to find out more at another site. These indie communities are built to attract music biz personnel as well, to browse for the talent needed for various projects. While you have the viewers attention and time, have the important info right there, don’t waste their time with a redirect link! Include a link to your main site, if they want to learn more they will go to it.

Promo Tip #12 Hand out your CDs (or demos). Have your web link printed on the CD. Include your band name and contact info as well. Remember, your name on the work is more important than the name of the work. Hand the CD to club owners that feature your type of music.

Promo Tip #13 Send press releases and reviews of your shows to local print newspapers, magazines and event papers. When writing press releases, read up on “press release tips” and the like to tweak your presentation.

Promo Tip #14 Professional photos mean you take yourself seriously. All photos in your press kit should be quality photos, not just your main bio picture. The money spent on a photographer that can capture your music “image” is money well spent.

Promo Tip #15 Collect addresses and email addresses (email is free!) to keep your fans current on what you are up to. When building your lists, try to list their location – city, state and zip with a bit of personal input about that fan. This is a great way to create a more personal and targeted mailing list without bombarding people that are too far away to attend a show.

Promo Tip #16 Practice and practice and practice. Longevity in the music business means learning new things, constantly creating, and always improving.

Promo Tip #17 Zero in on your target. Know where they hang out, where they shop, what they do for fun, and hit them where they live – online and off. Your audience is a specific crowd of people so don’t waste time being where they are not.

Promo Tip #18 Play, play and play some more. Get gigs in one part of town on Friday and another part of town on Saturday. Do mini tours outside of your town.

Promo Tip #19 Create your own support group of family, friends, and school mates - communicate well with them on your plans and goals to help spread the word on you, where you plan to go and how you plan on getting there. Delegate tasks to the appropriate people.

Promo Tip #20 Online send out press releases and reviews of shows via all appropriate sites.

Promo Tip #21 Get online air play. There are a lot of indie radio webcasts, join sites and do what you have to do to get on the playlists.

Promo Tip #22 Create an interesting banner to drop in your forum signatures or other online locations. Many message boards will let you leave a link and/or banner in your signature, but don’t like blatant advertising.

Promo Tip #23 Brand your name across the world and be ever mindful of the image you wish to portray whenever out in public or online. When it’s in print, it’s permanent.

Promo Tip #24 There is such a thing as overkill, in that it is better to describe your band/music as “we sound similar to the Beatles” rather than “we are the biggest thing since Led Zeppelin!” (or better than). So word your description accordingly.

Promo Tip #25 The music business is in the business to make money. If your career is in music, know when to be businesslike.

Promo Tip #26 Learn every area of the business you are in. Knowledge is power.

Promo Tip #27 You must network. Meet people, get out there, shake hands, listen to them as well and let them know about your music. Build those relationships.

Promo Tip #28 Be on friendly terms with other bands and artists in your area.

Promo Tip #29 Create a “street team”, online and/or offline…they are core people that wish to help you further your marketing efforts. Give away free tickets, CDs or merchandise to your street team as incentive.

Promo Tip #30 Announce every song, every CD, decent chart position, contest win, top sales on releases, announce anything and everything to stay in the public’s eye. If you can’t write a decent article up for the press release, get someone that can. Write a review of every gig and get feedback from local VIPs, fans, whomever matters and include the best quotes. Is it news worthy? Write and promote it. Get the most mileage you can from your promotional tactics.

Promo Tip #31 Never mail your CD without a purpose or a contact person’s name on it and expect miracles. Far better that the contact person knows to expect your CD, his or her name is spelled correctly, and you are mailing it to a company that actually works with your style of music.

Promo Tip #32 Wear your band! Get a jacket, t-shirts (etc) and add your band name or logo on it. Wear it everywhere and be a walking advertisement. If you have a niche fan base, think of a merchandise item that they need that of course has your name on it!

Promo Tip #33 Create an interesting band logo. It can be a conversation starter or a potential contest question.

Promo Tip #34 Join a Songwriting Circle. This is a local idea (though it is possible through the Internet), to meet with other songwriters in your own area and share your songs. You can get feedback on your work, share ideas and tips, possibly collaborate on work, learn about what’s happening locally, help each other in many ways. If you wanted to start your own circle or look for one, you could use Craigslist for your Wanted or Needed post. Most ask that you be open minded and dedicated, with a willingness to listen and give feedback.

Promo Tip #35 Burn your best song as a single. On the CD and cover include ALL contact info, website, names, etc and distribute that CD wherever you go, for free.

Promo Tip #36 Have a custom vinyl car wrap created about your music/band and put it on your car. OR a use a magnetic door sign for your vehicle will work as well.

Promo Tip #37 Cross promote online on your web sites with local bands as well. You give them a boost on your site and they give the same back to you. Ask other people to LINK TO YOUR music site from their website!

Promo Tip #38 Introducing your band whether in person or online has a lot of similarity in speech writing techniques, in that you have to grab the reader or listener or viewer in the first 30 seconds. Your opening line needs to have punch, snag the audience and reel them right in. Remember the rock group KISS and “Are you ready to Rock?!!” Find your attention getting line and use it. Don’t fall victim to the less inspiring, “um, hi guys, um, we are the ‘Example’ band…”

Promo Tip #39 Use Internet class ads as well as local newspapers to promote upcoming events and possible collaborations with others. Print papers and magazines need advance notice so plan accordingly.

Promo Tip #40 Create an online newsletter, with content of value to the receiver. This is an invaluable way to keep fans informed on gigs, news, gossip, new releases and other great info. Send out your newsletter about once a month.

Promo Tip #41 Be outrageous or controversial. Shock value can work, but it can backfire too. Can you maintain the image? It has worked for many, but was a disaster for many more. Think this tip out.

Promo Tip #42 Create a fan club online and get them to spread your banners, links and provide content for them to spread.

Promo Tip #43 Who are the VIPs in your community – who are the popular people in your area? Get to know them, give them a free CD and invite them to your show. When they speak, others will listen.

Promo Tip #44 Create a video and get on YouTube. Place your video on all relevant video sites. Video Scrapbook (or Diary) your music band’s progress, accomplishments, and jam sessions. This could make for good clips in other projects.

Promo Tip #45 Have a CD, digital download and other merchandise for sale. Generate some sales so you have something to invest in other areas of your marketing effort.

Promo Tip #46 Have star quality, but don’t be a big-head. Let people know you are professional and have the ability to be a long lasting star in this business.

Promo Tip #47 Never Spam email.

Promo Tip #48 Have a press kit ready to send out or email. Have it neatly organized with a brief bio, a short description (about 30 words or less) on what you sound like, full length bio, quality photos, music samples, current press releases and quality newsworthy items, song lyrics, radio airplay and chart position information, and detailed contact information.

Promo Tip #49 Join online music groups and newsgroups.

Promo Tip #50 Be a bit mysterious, hold back and leave them wanting more. Timing is everything for some info, releases, etc.

Promo Tip #51 Create a music slogan of up to 8 words (less is better) that quickly, accurately and in a catchy manner describes your music in a real way.

Promo Tip #52 Give a review to get a review, honestly is the best policy, but never brutality. Many times someone will return the favor and it shows your knowledge, your twist, on the music created.

Promo Tip #53 Print up posters and/or flyers about your upcoming show and post them wherever your type of fans would hang out and include your web link, show date, name of CD, where CD can be purchased.

Promo Tip #54 Get into podcasting and videocasting yourself or making your music available for podcasting.

Part 2 of 100 Tips to Marketing Your Music continues the remaining promo tips plus some bonus ideas!

Artistopia - The Ultimate Artist Development Resource artistopia.com artistopia.com is an artist development and community on the web providing music artists, songwriters and bands all the tools needed for displaying their talent, music business collaboration, marketing and networking. Online since 2003, Artistopia develops advanced technology solutions that leverage the Internet to both the music artist and music companies respective advantage.

If the mere mention of cue-sheets, synchronization royalties, and performance royalties cause you to curl up in the fetal position and break into a cold sweat, you’re not alone. A basic understanding of these music licensing terms should help you breathe easy and let you focus on what’s really important, producing great work.

Synchronization Royalty: A licensing fee paid to the owner of a piece of music for the right to synchronize the music with your audio and/or visual works. Many music libraries will charge this fee each and every time you synchronize a song in your work. On the contrary, studiocutz.com Studio Cutz Music Library offers a Lifetime Synchronization License, also known as a royalty free license or a buyout license. This means that we charge a one-time fee, and allow you to synchronize the music as frequently as you like.

Performance Royalty: Royalties paid by a broadcaster on an annual basis to a performing rights organization such as Ascap, Bmi, or Sesac. It is important to note that 99% of all broadcasters pay a fixed amount each year for performance royalties. The same broadcasting fee applies whether the music was a buyout, standard license, a popular hit song, or a relatively unknown piece of production music. As a general rule, unless you are the actual broadcaster (ie television station, cable network, etc.), performance royalties are not something you should ever have to pay for.

So where do cue-sheets fit into the picture? A cue sheet is merely a form filled out with the details of all the music used in a particular program; the composer name, publisher name, how many minutes and seconds of each track was used, etc. Cue-sheets are required for each program that is broadcast. If your work is not being broadcast, no cue-sheets are required.

The purpose of a cue-sheet is so that the composer and publisher can properly collect their performance royalties from that fixed amount the broadcaster has already paid to Ascap and Bmi. No money is saved by not filling in a cue-sheet, and no extra money is paid by anyone as a result of properly filling in a cue-sheet. It is simply a means to make sure that the money already paid by the broadcaster is properly dispersed to the deserving writers and composers.

People often ask how a music library is able to create high quality music and license it at such low prices. Much of the answer lies in cue-sheets. If a cue-sheet is properly filled out, our composers get their fair share of the broadcast royalty pie and we can keep our licensing fees low. If cue sheets are not properly turned in, the money goes into a “surplus” account, which eventually gets distributed out to the most played artists like Britney Spears and Garth Brooks.

So the next time you work on a production for broadcast, don’t buy Garth a new belt buckle…. Take a moment to fill out a simple cue-sheet. You’ll be helping a composer collect a buck or two that are rightfully his, and you’ll help keep the cost of production music affordable!

Scott Meath is a co-founder of Mediatone Music and publisher of Studio Cutz Music Library and Blue Fuse Music.

I woke up one morning and noticed something hanging under my chin. It was skin. It didn’t look right to me so I asked my mother about it. I was 9. Mom told me that it was just a goozle. I was not a bit relieved. I looked up goozle in the dictionary and I found this:

Goozle: The accumulated loose skin that hangs under one’s chin usually becoming prominent in men as they reach mid to late forties, sometimes called turkey-wattle neck.

I asked Mom how to get rid of it. She just waved me off and said it was normal. Normal! Ha! That’s what they told Quasimodo when he asked about his hump, that’s what they told Frankenstein when he asked about the steel bolts in his neck. Why don’t parents tell you the truth; you are a monster.

Now that I am considerably older my turkey-wattle goozle hangs down to my waist. I’m considering renting it out as a storage unit or pup tent. There are some procedures that can help.

Botox: You think of Botox for little crow’s feet and mouth wrinkles, but I think I can get a doctor to apply it by the gallon and my goozle will be tamed back to its 9 year old level. It should not take more than twelve injections over a period of 3 years.

Ice: For a temporary shrink, just before the prom, say, stick your goozle in a bucket of ice for about an hour. Be sure to be home before midnight because when it goes, it goes fast.

Surgery: A temple-lift will help some but there is a risk of ending up looking like The Joker if it is overdone. Better to just cut it off completely, tie up any loose muscles or whatever lurks in a goozle and cover the scars with industrial strength make-up.

Psychotherapy: Learn to like yourself, goozle and all.

Disguise: If you can, grow a really big beard. If you can’t, wear a ruff collar. You can also dye your hair orange which will draw attention away from your wattles. They can be painted like army camouflage uniforms so no one will notice them.

Or you can simply accept that you are a monster and get work in the movies. As a producer.

Jack Wilson is a writer and artist in Tempe, AZ

geocities.com/galimatio/jackwilson.html geocities.com/galimatio/jackwilson.html

LOVE AND FAITH

Love and faith
These are two
Intangible things
God looks for in you.
Love is monumental
Unable to be measured
It’s accompanied by a feeling
And actions instrumental.
Love is expressive
Contagious like a disease
It melts the hardest of hearts
Brings men to their knees
Love is a job
At which all choose to work
Love is easy and complicated
Requiring homework.
Love is an art, even a science
Beyond formulas and compliance.
Love’s impression is true
When you are affected
You will surely know it too.
A heart stripped of love
Is left feeling blue
A heart deprived of love
Often doesn′t know what to do.
Love believes all things
Love makes you sing
Love rejoices in the truth
True love is never lustful and loose.
Love endures all things
Despite difficulties and pain
Love believes the best in people
And is slow to complain.
All pails in comparison to love
The God kind of love from above.
Is always worthy of
Care and attention
Nurturing and full of affection
Unconditional and never wavering it is.
From such flows eternal security and bliss.
As for eros however
It can betray with a kiss
This did Judas to Jesus.

The God kind of love however
It never fails
To it all other kinds of love
In comparison pales
True love must be tested
To reveal to what extent
It is or is not invested
To fully discover
Where it has never existed
True love in faith endures
When relations are strained
And there is much pain
Love and faith abides
When people in unbelief
Have left and exited
Love and faith embraces
Where others have rejected

Faith from above
It works by love
Faith is a force
A fact and an act.
The Holy Spirit is known
As the spirit of faith
Enabling you to confront your problems
Rather than flee in fear
Seeking merely an escape.
For problems reappear
In other forms and people
But if you master love and faith
The victory will always be yours
As a sower and a reaper.
Be not deceived therefore
You reap what you sow.
So don′t be quick
To pick up and go
To walk out and leave
That someone you once loved
It’s time to reevaluate
What you’ve called love.
Many misappropriate the word love
Not knowing what it is of
Many love sport
Others love possessions
Several love their work
Some love food - a favorite dish
But love and faith together
Is God’s wish.
A wish for humanity
That they might forever abide
That they might remain satisfied
Dwelling in the presence of God
Settled in all they dreamed of
Nestled in the arms of love
Secure in divine relationship
Confident in the word of faith
Able to escape
The snares of the soul
Capable of contentment
Being always whole.
Love and faith
These must we seek
Love and faith
These must we speak
Love and faith
Hold fast to them
Love and faith
To be God’s dearest friend.
Love and faith
To keep you until the end.
Love and faith
To give new beginnings again.

by Paul Davis - poet and prophet

Paul Davis is author of Breakthrough for a Broken Heart a book telling us “How to overcome disappointments and blossom into your dreams!” He is a minister, life coach (relational & professional), dating expert, popular worldwide keynote speaker, creative consultant, humor being, adventurer, explorer, mediator, liberator and dream-maker.

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has also brought revival to many in war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His nonprofit organization Dream-Maker Ministries is building dreams and breaking limitations.

Paul’s Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Paul can be contacted at: mailto:RevivingNations@yahoo.com RevivingNations@yahoo.com - 407-967-7553 or 407-282-1745.

For additional info:
CreativeCommunications.TV CreativeCommunications.TV
BreakthroughSeminars.org BreakthroughSeminars.org
DreamMakerMinistries.com DreamMakerMinistries.com

Though I have been a gambler all my life I use to make a living as a Private Investigator. One of the strangest cases I ever came across, while being a Private Investigator, involved a jealous husband, a cheating wife and craps.

The husband, whose name was Jose, hired me because he believed his wife, her name was Diana, was cheating on him. This was many years ago. Jose believed his wife was cheating on him because when he got home from work he found that his wife, Diana, smelled of cigarettes. And Diana didn’t smoke.

He also noticed, as time progressed, that the housework was not being done regularly. His shirts weren’t ironed, dusting wasn’t being done and they ordered pizza for dinner more often than not. Needless to say, Diana was a stay at home housewife.

Jose thought Diana was fooling around on him during the day when he was at work. He was quite upset by this because he dearly loved Diana. So he hired me to find out.

In those days, when I was a dick, this was the kind of case I was usually hired for. I didn’t mind. It paid my bills. The cases were usually boring. And the spouse that hired me was usually right.

I followed Diana that morning straight to a hotel. Only it wasn’t a hotel room she was going to. It was the hotel casino. She went straight to the craps table. I watched her the rest of the day just incase this was a rouse and she was going to sneak off to meet a lover. She never left the craps table until 4 in the afternoon. Then she went straight home. Fifteen minutes after she got home Jose got home. Thirty minutes later a pizza was delivered.

I followed Diana for a week and every day she did the same thing. Straight to the hotel casino craps table until 4pm. And then straight home. Followed by a pizza or Chinese food.

There was nothing unusual in this. Diana loved to gamble. The only thing that was unusual was that she mostly won.

Anyhow, I gave my report to Jose who was more than relieved to find out it wasn’t another man. But he was confused. He couldn’t figure out where she got the money from. He gave her money for the household but it wasn’t a lot. He couldn’t figure out how she was gambling away all her household money but still managing to put food on the table.

When I told him that when I observed her she mostly won he wouldn’t believe me. I week later he called me up on the phone. He told me he confronted Diana about the casino and shooting craps all day. She told him that it was true and that she mostly won. When he asked her for proof she took him to the basement and showed him a pillow case stuffed with cash. There was over thirty thousand dollars!

The next day Jose quit his job. And Diana became the talk of the Vegas strip. The woman with the golden arm. I’m not sure if they still talk about her today. But she was known as Diana the Dice Diva.

(c) Hank Bolt. All Rights Reserved.

Hank Bolt is a resident writer at gambleonthis.com gambleonthis.com